I have my doubts that they have even printed a book. As such, I have begun to suspect this may all be just a big prank. Expecting requests of "Please confirm your availability for the book signing tour dates" or "Conan O'Brien has read your book and would like to fly you to his mansion to spend a few days in his hot-tub doing drugs,is this ok?", I was instead given instructions to create Justin Bieber websites and cut off my hair so that it can go on tour. I began to question the agenda of Penguin some months back.
And the lack of space shuttles in Australia. It was probably this lack of encouragement that caused me to give up my dreams of reaching the stars. During lunch, a duty teacher asked me if I was a belly dancer from the future. Drawing a ray gun on a piece of paper during recess and gluing it over the magazine image to put an end to the question "are you a television set?", the ray gun was accused of being a penis and I was forced to remove the panel completely, leaving me with an exposed stomach. That day, due to the task being misunderstood by most, the class had six fairies, a vampire, two pirates, a stormtrooper and one astronaut with a picture of a lady getting her hair cut on his stomach. He had also constructed a television screen on the stomach by cutting out a rectangle and gluing a magazine picture behind it of a lady getting her hair cut.
Sent to bed early that night for constructing an astronaut suit by cutting my mother's polyester jumpsuit to length, I awoke to find my father had stayed up late to paint NASA mission badges on the sleeves and super-glue dials from a Rank Arena record player onto the chest. During 5th grade, my teacher had the class participate in Career Day by dressing as what they would like to be when they grew up. Up until I was ten, I was obsessed with the space shuttle. As I am inherently lazy, this is probably why I chose that path. Despite what those in the industry may have you believe, graphic design is not a real job let alone a hard one.
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